NepaliTantrums: Touch Me Not

Source: Google

Girl: Hey I'm lookin' for *******, you got it? 

Dealer: Yeah, got a few, how much you lookin fo’? 
Girl: Um, I'm not sure it's my first time.
Dealer: I'm thinkin’ you should start off with this, how much you thinkin’ of spendin’? 
Girl: I got 200 bucks, how much for a dose? 
Dealer: 100 fo’ the premium one, you in? 
Girl: Sure, I’ll try one, *hands him the money*
Dealer: Thanks. *wraps it with a paper and covers the package with a black polythene*

Girl: (Walking with the package in her hand) *I hope nobody finds out what I’m carrying… Shit shit shit… why is that guy looking at me… now he’s looking at this packet… should I run? No, act normal, breathe…breathe… avoid eye contact! Why is this dog following me now… no no no… don’t start sniffing  the packet... people will notice... I think I should just run until I get home or I’ll get caught… fuck… this is why I hate having my period.* *Starts running*

If you’re a girl and could relate to this, either you’re a victim of the “social culture” of Nepal, or you are involved in buying drugs. Personally, I have always wondered why we have portrayed a visit to the pharma like explosives trading. I’m not trying to say that whenever we buy any female hygiene product, we should go around shouting “Hey people! I just bought pads. I’m so proud. Yay!”, but the fact that people are embarrassed by the mere topic of these products is why I think a change is necessary. Seriously! What’s so gross about sanitary pads as long as they are not used? No one cries “gross” by looking at the Mamy Poko Pants advertisements displayed in billboards and newspapers, do they?

I have been in many situations when I had simply asked for a packet of sanitary pads and got one wrapped with a long roll of patrika, kept inside a black polythene bag in return. If a Kathmandu basinda has to witness this scene so often, I wonder what the situation in the rural parts of the country is like. 

We are made to talk about periods in hushed voices as if it’s a dirty secret and all in all made to act as if it is something we should hide more when it is really a part of biology. Period cramps, mood swings, insatiable hunger, blood coursing like a crimson landslide when you sneeze, speak, walk, talk, even breathe! There is no such thing as a happy period like the ones shown on the advertisements. As if this wasn’t enough, our society has created its own sets of rules where utensils have to be separated for that specific time, entering in the kitchen is taken as a sin, touching a tree is forbidden because if that happens, it would stop it from bearing fruits (seriously?), entering a temple during that time of the month is the worst possible thing one could imagine. Talking about me, I have been to temples during that time of the month and celebrated Dashain and Tihar without telling anyone about it. Why? Because I did not want to miss out in the once in a year celebration (The dakshina part is a plus point obviously ;) ). And in case you’re wondering, I’m still safe, sound, alive and throwing tantrums like always.

You know what the actual problem is? No, not “nachune bhako keti le choyeko achaar”, but “our bichaar.”

NepaliTantrums: I Got the Power!

He put his hand on my thighs throughout the whole journey, but I did nothing. I was nervous, scared, angry, all at the same time, but I did nothing. He got down on the same stop that I got down at, and sensing that he was following me, I ran as fast as I could until he was out of sight. I did NOTHING!

It was a microbus packed with people. So much that one had to breathe in the smell of sweat mixed with traces of female perfume, alcohol and cigarette instead of air. I felt someone rubbing their groin against my butt as I was standing. I could have turned around, screamed and slapped the person, but I just moved some steps away from that place and did NOTHING!

I get into the bus; it was all empty except for a group of 6-7 men in their thirties I suppose. As I pass through them to occupy an empty seat at the back, I feel someone pinching my butt. It was so sudden, painful, infuriating and embarrassing. I could have turned around, punched the person who did it on the face and broke his nose, but I stayed quiet and occupied a seat. I did NOTHING!

These are some real-life experiences of women who travel (or have traveled) in a public vehicle. Some have been shared by friends and some are my own.

Often, I tend to think about the times that I have been through these horrifying experiences. The ones who have been through this would clearly know how frustrating it is to be treated like an object to taunt, have fun with. What's more infuriating is not being able to reply back to them or to take a stand for yourself, enduring it all the way. This feeling breaks you up, eats you alive and even with that, you manage to put a smile on your face like nothing has happened. People around you give you the tag of an arrogant, rude woman and you don't try to explain because they wouldn't understand.

Even if you're one of those who have learned to take a stand for themselves, and vent out their anger upon the shit-headed perverted minds (excuse my use of language here), get ready to be treated with stares and whispers from the pathetic audience (to whom it may concern) who judge you or are entertained by what's going on, instead of giving you a big round of applause.

Not that I blame only the society for this, but it's us individuals who need to learn to fight, to help ourselves. I know how hard it is (been there, done that) to counter-attack the person who attacked you (thanks to fear and a lack of confidence, thanks to Crime Patrol, thanks to the people who stuffed us with the "keti manche bhayepachi estai huncha, chod deu" philosophy). I still remember a question that was asked in a Facebook page: "What would you do if you were a parent?" to which I had replied, "I would send my kids to self -defence classes." It would be good to have a karate kid of your own, wouldn't it?

It took me long to build up courage, to realize that I have got the power in me and that I should stop expecting others to be good. It took me long to become the strong person that I am today. What I have realized is that you don’t even need to try so hard. For example, I had a pervert encounter about a year ago. A man in his 50's probably, sat beside me on a public vehicle and was very keen to poke on my breast repeatedly, with his elbow. I politely told him "Uncle, afno haat lai samhalera rakhnus" in a voice loud enough for everyone in the vehicle to hear. In a second, he got up and jumped off the moving vehicle. Not bad, eh? 

What I am trying to say with all these rants is that YOU are the one! YOU are the one who can bring about change. YOU are the one who has got the power to end this. YOU are the hope and YOU are the danger. You've got the power. Utilize it. Be a fighter,  not a victim. 

I was walking on the road when someone put their hands on my shoulders. I turned around to see if it was someone I knew, but instead got a "k cha soltini?" from the stranger. I punched him on the back as a reply, and the guy left, without turning back. Today, I did SOMETHING!

10 signs which prove that you're in LOVE…… with mo:mo!

Mo:mo, unofficially the national food of Nepal. Below are some signs which prove that mo:mo is your bae. ;)

1.  You want to have momos everyday and you never get tired of it. You fantasize about jhol mo:mo, C mo:mo, open mo:mo, sandheko mo:mo, platter mo:mo, (etc.) EVERYDAY!

  

2.  You spend most of your Dashain dakshina on mo:mo.

3.  Once in your life, you have had this conversation with your parents: "Baba/mummy, aja office bata aauda mo:mo lyaidinu na hai?"

4.  The very first thing you order when you visit a restaurant is undoubtedly, mo:mo. "Dai, aile lai ek plate mo:mo lyaidinu, aru ekchinma sochumla."

5.  The recent embargo/nakabandi made you sad because there was a mo:mo scarcity.

6.  You tend to think that people who do not LOVE mo:mo are weird.

7. This: "Waaaah! aja ghar ma mo:mo pakaune? Yessss! 60 ota jati ta dui minute ma khaidinchu."

8.  You have had that "mukh ma paani aayo" moment whenever you heard people talking about momos. Ghutukka!

"Yaha manche lai esto bhok lairacha, aile mo:mo ko kura nagar ta. Paap laagcha, paap!"

9. Mo:mo is the first thing that comes to your mind whenever it's raining or cold outside.
    "Mausam le challenge garyo yaar, jaum mo:mo khana."

10. You're salivating right now. Craving for some mo:mo probably? Ghutukka! ;)

Nari Diwas

नारी दिवस को दिन
आज निकै शक्तिशाली महसुस गर्दैथि ऊ
"नारी पुरुष बराबर हुन्
Stop the silence, raise your voice against women violence "
माइक बाट भट्याउदै थि ऊ
कार्यक्रम सकियो, फर्किन लागि  ऊ घर
सुन्धारा मा टक्क अडिएर कुर्न लागि मोटर
"बौद्ध जोरपाटी बौद्ध जोरपाटी "
चिच्याउदै आयो खलासी भाइ
सिट पाउने आशा  थिएन, टाउको निहुराएर उभिने ठाउँ पाई

सहेर बसी उसले चुरोट र  पसिना को दुर्गन्ध
हावा आउने झ्याल धोका थिए सबै बन्द
झ्याप्प लगाए ड्राइभर दाइ ले ब्रेक
झन्डै साइकल लाइ हानेको
महसुस गरि उसले कसैले उसको छाति छामेको
Intentionally होइन होला सोची, बोलिन उसले केहि
गाडी फेरी गुड्न थाल्यो स्पिड थियो त्यहि
छाति को हात बिस्तारै तल सर्न थालेछ
त्यो रुखो डरलाग्दो हातले उसलाई स्पर्श गर्न थालेछ
"भाइ, गाडी रोकन! " उसले चिच्याउदै बोली

नारी  दिवस को दिन
आज निकै कमजोर  महसुस गर्दैथि ऊ
नारी दिवस को दिन
चुपचाप, लाचार भइ बसेकी थि ऊ
नारी  दिवस को दिन
शिर निहुराएर घर फर्किन लागेकी थिई ऊ |

Kalinchowk Blues.

                                                                            Dawn.
                                       

A sea of clouds.

Sworga janey bato.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (PC : Bhattu)

Misty Mountain

Finding Balance.

Us and Them. #Shadows

Mandatory! ;)

Anybody up for a cold glove wrestling? ;) #Frost

I met her after descending from the Kalinchowk Bhagwati temple. She was having some mango juice when I asked her to tell me her name. Both of us couldn't understand each other's language, but she gave this expression when I asked her to smile showing her teeth. She even offered to share the mango juice with me. Such innocence!

Traveling is always awesome. Be it a trip to ABC or the loo, the excitement that even the thought of traveling brings in us is just so… exciting. Our Kalinchwok trip was no less.

Reached at 10PM.

Jan 8, 12 PM : The bus left from Dhobighat at 12 noon. We knew that we would reach our destination (Kuri Village) after the sun had set, but nobody thought that it would be so late. A plate of mo:mo and packets of WaiWai didn’t help but instead, gastritis pain prevailed. I have no idea how the driver dai managed to drive the bus at night on THAT road, that scary road which had already made me imagine my life after death, so I have no complaints. That intense craving for dalbhat made us eat like hell, like we had not eaten anything since ages, and a simple meal tasted like it was personally prepared by God in his personal kitchen. (Bhatey thoughts. Haha)

Birthday                                                                                      

Jan 9: It was almost 12AM and we hadn’t even settled on out beds. My phone’s battery was already dead so I couldn’t track the time. As soon as Bhattu’s phone rang, she got busy speaking on the phone and I got busy taking out the cupcakes and her birthday gift for giving her a surprise. Her expressions didn’t show it, but my heart tells me that she loved the surprise. (Jabarjasti.  Hahaha)

Sleepless night and maata talks

Somebody in the hotel started chanting weird words after 12. Thought it was a friend trying to act drunk, but instead we got to know that the driver dai’s friend was the one doing all of that because he was possessed by a Goddess. Maata chadheko re! And trust me, it was really creepy, scary and funny at the same time.

The person who was possessed told that there was a girl on her periods among us, and in any case if the girl visited the Kalinchowk Bhagwati Temple that day, the goddess would kill her. Everyone was really scared as two of us were on their periods, but I actually found it funny as I had seen the same person getting drunk and smoking weed some time ago. In my opinion, all of this happened because that person was really drunk and high. (Apologies to those who find my point of view offensive.) I do respect the Nepalese culture, but sometimes it gets too suffocating and illogical. My opinion is that a goddess, who herself is a woman wouldn’t mind another woman worshipping her just because the woman is on her periods. (Rapists go to a temple: it is okay, and a woman going through a biological process goes to a temple: it is offensive?  You must be kidding! )

And this conversation happened:

Me: (To Miss S, who was on her periods) It’s a goddess’s temple and she herself is a woman. I don’t think she’ll mind anyway. This person is just drunk, please ignore him. If an empowered woman like you starts believing in these kinds of superstitions, what can we expect from others? If I would have been in your place, I would have gone inside the temple just to prove them wrong.

Mr. R: Shut up! This is a serious matter. That guy must have been very religious and pure. These things do not happen with normal people like us.

Me: TTalking about pure, that is a non-vegetarian, drunkard guy, high on weed. They were having a conversation about godly power during dinner, and this might be a reason he's acting like this.

Mr. R: Kati bolirako timi? chup laga!
(So much drama for giving your opinion.)

(The hotel owner called the witch doctor and after chanting some mantra and thumping the drums, the goddess who was saying that she would not go away from the body decided to leave. Then, we heard some footsteps and the sound of someone vomiting right in front of our room. No points for guessing that the person who vomited there was the same guy.)

Me: Jau Mr. R, maata ko Prasad khana! (indicating the vomit)
(Good thing that he didn't listern, or he surely would have beaten me up. haha)

The person had vomited from our door to the entrance of the hotel. Dalbhat power all over. Haha
(In the morning, the hotel owner came in with a khukuri in his hand. Pachi ta “kasto manche raicha” bhandai tei khukuri le dry vomit nikalna thalira. Hahahaha)

Because of all the drama, the freezing cold, the sound of people snoring and all, I didn’t get any sleep that night. We got up to see the sunrise at 4. Miss S didn’t get any sleep either as the words of “the goddess” were playing on her mind on repeat. She decided not to go up to the hill as she was really scared. Keti bhayera janminu ni jhur ho jasto lagcha kailekai.   

Glittery way

Jan 9, 4:30 AM : Only 6 of us were brave enough to come out in the freezing cold to see the sunrise. -7⁰C (That’s what the weather app showed)  is not a joke okay? It was totally dark and as the torchlight fell on the frosty way, it would look so glittery, so awesome. Like the stars has decided to shine on the earth.

Chiya pasal to the rescue

It had been more than an hour since we started walking uphill. Since there was no water to drink, a friend who was dehydrated (because she got really drunk the day before) has been saying that she could walk no more. Just then, we saw a light and a small shop. The dehydrated friend bought a bottle of water. Still shivering because of the cold, we took chairs for each one of us and settled down. Then, we realized that the water in the bottle had already turned into a chunk of ice (Yes, it was that cold.) The shopkeeper dai made black tea for all of us and even let us sit around the fire.

Sworga janey bato (Stairway to heaven)

We reached up to the hill, at the temple at around 6am. Shivering, we waited for the sun to rise, but the sun decided to take its time. It was so cold that our hands and feet had already become numb and none of us dared to open our gloves to worship Kalinchowk Bhagwati except Pandey, who even opened his shoes. (Manmanai Pandey lai Fear Factor ko winner declare gardiye. Haha) The morning light began to spread in the sky gradually and around 7AM, the sun began to rise.  Man! The view was jaw-dropping awesome. The thick clouds looked like a carpet made out of cotton and the sun rose above it, with its orange rays making love with the blue sky. “This could be heaven” said my mind. “This might be what sworga janey bato looks like” it added. Hoping that my hands wouldn’t suffer from a frost bite, I managed to take some pictures of the magnificent beauty lying in front of my eyes. Life couldn’t get better.

Ice Ice Baby!

With the frost queen reigning the place, the water facility was no different. It was impossible to have water come out of taps because of the cold, so the hotels had a drums filled with water in the kitchen and the washroom. A huge round of applause to the person who invented the toilet paper. (Bihana uthera toilet ko drum hereko, paani ta purai ice banecha. Lol)

See-ya ! Kalinchowk

After having our breakfast, lunch, and some wandering around, it was time to leave. Aune belama ta rati bhaera kei thaha bhaena, jane belama bato herera ta satto gayo. ओह माई गड! “Who would cry if you die?” asked my mind. Everyone except 5-6 of us decided to walk and avoided the bus ride. After so many “Oh my god! Jhandai mareko” moments, the road got a little better and everyone got in. Thank god we are safe and sound. :P

Kalinchowk Bhagwati ki jai!